“Parents may delay creating an elder law estate plan, because of the in-law issue. Some parents are unfortunately estranged from an adult child, only because of the problematic son-in-law or daughter-in-law.”
Let’s say you want to leave everything you own to your children, but you can’t stand and don’t trust their spouses. That might make you want to delay making an estate plan, because it’s a hard thing to come to terms with, says a recent article “Dealing with disinheritance, spouses” from the Times Herald-Record. There are options, but make the right choice, or your estate could face challenges.
Some people choose to leave nothing at all for their child in the will so that, if there is a divorce or if the child dies, their assets will not end up in the daughter-in-law or son-in-law’s pocket. For some parents, particularly those who are estranged from their children, this can create more problems than it solves.
Disinheriting a child with a will is not always a good idea. If you die with assets in your name only, they go through the court proceeding called probate, when the will is used to guide asset distribution. The law requires that all children, even disinherited ones, are notified that you have died, and that probate is going to occur. The disinherited child can object to the provisions in the will, which can lead to a will contest. Most families engaged in litigation over a will become estranged—even those that were not beforehand. The cost of litigation will also take a bite out of the value of your estate.
A common tactic is to leave a small amount of money to the disinherited child in the will and add a no-contest clause in the will. The no-contest clause expressly states that anyone who contests the will loses any right to their inheritance. Here is the problem: the disgruntled child may still object, despite the no contest clause, and invalidate the will by claiming undue influence or incapacity or that the will was not executed properly. If their claims are valid, then they will have great satisfaction of undoing your planning.
How can you disinherit a child and be sure that your plan is going to stand up to challenge?
A trust is better in this case than a will. Not only do trusts avoid probate, but (unless state law requires otherwise at death) the children do not receive notice of the creation of a trust. An inheritance trust, where you leave money to your child, names a trustee to oversee the trust and the child is the only beneficiary of the trust. The child might be a co-trustee, but they do not have complete control over the trust. The spouse has no control over the inheritance, and you can also control what happens to the assets in the trust if the child dies.
This kind of planning is called “controlling from the grave,” but it is better than not knowing if your child will be able to protect their inheritance from a divorce or from creditors.
With a national divorce rate around fifty percent, it is hard to tell if the in-law you welcome with an open heart will become a predatory enemy in the future, even after you are gone. The use of trusts can ensure that assets remain in the bloodline and protect your hard work from divorces, lawsuits, creditors and other unexpected events.
Reference: Times Herald-Record (June 6, 2020) “Dealing with disinheritance, spouses”